Dating Websites For Autistic Adults
Luv2meetU Luv2meetU is a friendship and dating agency for people with a learning disability or autism aged 18 and over. We support people to make friends, share interests and develop relationships. Home / Our Services / Empowering Individuals / Friendship and Dating / Luv2meetU. Aspie-singles.com is a friendly Autism Dating – Aspergers dating and Friendship site. We operate world wide but we are one of the highest ranking sites for Autism Dating in the US, Canada and in the UK. Women can use all features for free here this is why we have an uncommon high ratio of women on our site.
Contents
Introduction
The desire to connect with another person and build a satisfying relationship exists in everyone. It is common and natural for people with autism and other developmental disabilities to seek companionship; however, they often experience problems due to difficulties communicating with others and recognizing non-verbal cues. For parents and other family members, their loved ones’ safety is a common concern. It is important to keep in mind that with support, people with disabilities are able to overcome challenges associated with dating and develop successful relationships.
Dating
Dating allows two people to get to know each other better; however, it can be a confusing process to navigate. If you are interested in someone, how do you act on those feelings? How do you ask someone out on a date? What steps should you take to prepare for a date? These questions and more are addressed in How to Date like a Pro, a webinar provided by Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered and Katherine McLaughlin.
Online dating has become a popular and quick way to meet people. Unlike traditional dating, meeting online gives each person the opportunity to protect their identity until he/she feels comfortable enough to reveal more personal details. This is especially helpful for individuals who prefer to wait to disclose their disability. Although there are benefits to online dating, taking the necessary safety precautions is important. To learn more, view the webinar Autism & Online Dating.
Romantic Relationships
Common characteristics of autism spectrum disorders (ASD) may make it difficult for individuals to initiate and manage romantic relationships. Discomfort with physical affection, high levels of anxiety, and difficulty with eye contact may lead to lack of affection and intimacy within the relationship. Fortunately, these issues can be managed with open and honest communication. Individual with ASD should explain to their partners why they behave the way that they do. Partners, in turn, should be supportive and willing to compromise so that a comfortable median can be reached.
Many people on the autism spectrum are looking to be in a relationship; however, there are others who are content with being single. Dating and choosing to be in a relationship are personal choices that depend on the needs and preferences of the individual. Below are a few ways that parents and caregivers can support their loved ones through this journey:
- Talk about relationships and dating and let the individual decide whether it is for them.
- If he/she wants to pursue dating, inform him/her about acceptable behaviors, the importance of consent and personal space, and other expectations.
- Encourage the individual to get involved in group events and activities. Interacting with peers may create more opportunities for finding a potential partner.
- Do research. Reading books, exploring websites, and talking to other parents, counselors and educators are useful ways to learn more about how to effectively support individuals with disabilities in dating and relationships.
Tips from Self-Advocates
The following suggestions are written by people who identify themselves as having a developmental disability. These people present their own recommendations based upon their own experiences.
Moving From Friend to Partner/Sweetheart
When I was in school it was not easy to make friends. I started to get out in my community and meet people at groups, volunteering, clubs and playing sports. And it is a big challenge to find a friend. You have to put yourself out there to find the right friend. Friends don’t care if you have a disability or not. Friends like you for who you are, not what you give them.
Imagine you are at a dance and out of nowhere there is someone standing close to you. Like a genie they keep popping up, checking you out. Will you feel too shy to ask them to dance? You need to walk, cruise over and introduce yourself and shake the person’s hand and tell them your name.
Step 1: Feeling Interested
When you have a crush on someone you need to decide if you are going to act on those feelings. Ask yourself:
Can a potential girlfriend/boyfriend be….
- Someone already in a relationship?
- Someone who has said she/he is not interested?
- A paid support person/teacher?
- Someone under 16?
Step 2: Getting to Know Someone
After you meet that person you need to spend time with them and see how they act around you. Use your self-advocacy skills and let the person know how you feel by:
- Tell the person how you feel (“I like you and I like spending time with you.”)
- Talking on the telephone.
- Ask him/her to join you at a group activity.
- Ask him/her out on a date.
Step 3: Becoming a Couple
Relationships usually start off being fun and exciting. Here are a few topics you may need to talk about as a couple. When conflicts come up it’s often not the issue, but how you work through it and learn how to communicate better.
- Feelings about commitment—Will you only date each other?
- Feelings about touch—What kind? How much?
- Communication—How will you communicate with each other (phone calls, e-mails, text messages, etc.)? How often?
- How much time will you spend together?
- How often will you see each other?
- How to handle a long distance relationship?
Resources
Autism (Autism Spectrum Disorder ASD) is a lifelong developmental condition, which is probably passed down through DNA genes and which is incurable. Within ASD anxiety and social interaction is difficult. ASD is more prevalent among boys.
Although Autism is not an illness it manifests itself in various ways:
- Taking time to fully understand things
- Anxiety with situations, and loud noises
- Inability to understand how people think or feel
- Eye contact is often difficult
- A person with Autism has a different type of brain
Relationships with Autistic People
There are many successful partnerships with autistic people and those who choose to marry and have a family and are usually happy, however they may experience difficulties as quite often an Autistic person will be unable to express their full feelings and emotions so difficulties may occur. Everyone with Autism will experience different effects from the conditions but mostly they will be based around emotions and feelings and often with a feeling of being isolated and detached.
Tips for Managing an Autistic Partner
You need to have very clear language when in conversation with an Autistic person and they may need to stick to their own routines therefore you need to be patient. Their behaviour can often be perceived as hurtful but it’s usually unintended. If you reason slowly and carefully and reassure them then things will gradually work out. Most Autistic relationships have their ups and downs like any other, but you just need to know from the start that you’re in a different kind of relationship that needs continual working at.
Dating For Autistic People
Finding Love and Romance
Like everyone else in society most people wish to have romance and a relationship so being Autistic is no different however, there are aspects you need to understand before dating an Autistic person. They won’t readily hug or kiss you and won’t understand your emotions and they will probably feel claustrophobic. However, this is all part of the condition.
Dating Advice For Autistic Adults
Being highly sensitive they can’t readily show emotions but they do have empathy, however small talk is difficult, if not impossible for them, therefore an initial meeting may prove hard work. Stay with it as you’ll be surprised, and who knows, eventually you may find a special friend.
Dating an Autistic Man
Due to AS being an invisible condition many find an initial date very challenging work and very emotionally draining but if you understand they are coming from a different angle, and accept that, then dating can be fun. Never think of what others say about Autism as you can easily work around feelings. But you have to remember, that whilst you may need a cuddle he may need his distance.
Each date can bring new challenges so remember if he wants to talk about himself then let it flow. It may be hard to begin with but understanding that his social skills set is on a different level and learning all the little hidden identities are all part of the learning curve. Small talk may prove impossible but try to get on a subject that interests him and always try to be honest in a situation, and never brag or joke as it probably won’t be appreciated.
Dating an Autistic Woman
ASD is less common in women and Autism can often be overlooked. In one survey a woman quoted, ‘It feels like all my senses are firing at once, at great speed, and I’m not in control.’ They tend to hide their feelings and therefore are more vulnerable than men with the same condition.
Best Dating Sites for ASD’s
There are several dating sites to check out, however why not begin with a new dating app recently launched and aimed at over 70 million users within the ASD spectrum. Everything is user-friendly and is a helpful platform enabling people to build relationships. There are several websites worth looking at but try Tendermeets.com as it’s compiled by people ON the spectrum FOR people on the spectrum and is totally unique. Dating websites can prove a huge minefield but Spectrum Singles fully understand all dating concerns and the ground-breaking website brings together the same community, offering a personal touch every step of the way. It focuses on a compatibility test, blogs, and is fully secure throughout at only around $10 per month membership.
Suggested Places to Meet Your Date
Any date can prove a mind blowing undertaking so you need to think about somewhere appropriate to take your ASD date. Never go on a first date to a rowdy club or bar as they’ll panic, and more especially if there are bright flashing lights. A quiet environment is best and somewhere where you can sit quietly and get to know each other. Just going for a simple walk in a park or by a river is a great idea, or go window shopping as that’s a great way to get to know what your date likes, and you could round it off with a quiet drink in a non-crowded café. If you’re lucky enough to be walking along a beach, then buy an ice-cream and chat away while enjoying the views. Always ask what he/she would like to do on the date, never use force or insist on going to a certain place as they may become anxious.
Golden Dating Rules
As with any important appointment a romantic date has key rules too. Never be late and don’t overdress. Keep things low key, and never just talk about yourself. Give your date the space he/she needs to allow the situation to become comfortable. Don’t split the bill it will complicate things, and listen all the time to what your ASD date has to offer and never try to solve any of their problems unless they ask for your input. Be interesting in conversation, and allow give and take and understand that ASD feelings will be quite different from yours.
Jennifer Lorusso is a recognized dating and interpersonal relationship expert. As a woman with Psychological degree, she utilizes both her whole life training and her incredible life experiences to serve her readers. She is known for her approachable manner and empathetic abilities. She trully believes that everyone can find true love as long as they believe it is available to them.